Child Abuse: Verbal vs. Physical, What's More Harmful?

What is more harmful to a child, verbal or physical abuse? First let me start with saying that both are harmful and I personally find it reprehensible to abuse a child in any form. However I pose the question as I all too often hear people in an unwitting debate as to which is more harmful. I have often heard people say I’d rather be hit or state when a parent is yelling “well at least they are not hitting the child”. Therefore from my experiences and observations I have noted that while increased awareness as to the harmful and lasting affects of verbal abuse are more and more noted, that over all it still tends to be less likely perceived as abuse.

The harsh reality is that verbal abuse is often just a precursor for physical abuse, additionally verbal abuse can also be sexual assault. Yes, sexual assault can be verbal or visible with an abuser talking sexually (describing what an abuser wants to do) and inappropriate (sexual innuendos), showing body parts (with no touching), etc. Verbal abuse is somewhat of a boiling pot that left unattended, and to often it is as the bruises and scars are not so visible, that if left unattended will only boil over and burn all around it.

Abuse in any form can often be difficult to see as abusers and victims usually hide and one rarely wants to think that a parent, teacher or other loved one could be an abuser. Victims often hide abuse as they have been led to believe that they are to blame and it was their fault for provoking their abuser, that they deserved it. Verbal abusers seek to attack the very ones sense of self  and create self doubt. While physical abuse and verbal abuse often go hand-in-hand often verbal abuse has no physical accompaniment.

Child abuse statistics, are shocking and their numbers are increasing.  The haunting reality in the U.S. alone leaves one questioning how such levels continue to grow:

• just over 1,500 children die each year in the United States from child abuse and neglect.
• 905,000 children were the victims of child abuse in 2006.
• 70 percent of child abuse victims are under age three years old.
• Over 80 percent of the abused children were abused by one the child’s parent.
• Neglect is the most common form of child abuse, followed by physical abuse, sexual abuse, psychological abuse, and lastly, medical neglect.

Therefore to answer the question of what is more harmful I am not sure I have a solid answer, I tend to lean to verbal abuse due to seeing its long-term effects. Nonetheless I know many are now saying, “yeah, but words never killed anyone”, but that is where your wrong. True a parent or even peer abuser may not literally kill a child with words, but their words can lead the abused to destructive and abusive behaviors such as drugs, alcohol, sexual promiscuity, and suicide. Please see my recent Bullying is Abuse, in which it follows the story of a 15 year-old girl who took her own life after she could no longer bare the pressures and taunts of her abuse.

Please see my previous article, Knowing the signs of abuse to protect our children, to learn more on how you can protect and prevent children from abuse.  And while we need to increase our awareness and prevention programs, we must also strengthen our laws to ensure that all children are given a fighting chance.