“They said she dressed older than her age, wearing makeup and fashions more appropriate to a woman in her 20s. She would hang out with teenage boys at a playground, some said.”
Even more shocking were statements that alluded that the attackers/rapists were in some way victimized, as they would now suffer trauma due to the girls age.
Once again I find myself shocked over the community’s treatment and portrayal of a victim of abuse after learning of the outlandish and shocking treatment of a young girl in none other than that of my home state of Missouri. A lawsuit filed against a school in Springfield, Missouri reveals a shocking case of shaming and blaming the victim of sexual harassment, assault and rape- the girl was a seventh grade special education student. The lawsuit is being filed against the school for both the dismissal of the girl’s rape claims, which is shocking enough. However what has me most flabbergasted is the schools outlandish action to have the young victim “write and hand-deliver an apology letter to her alleged attacker,” after which, “the lawsuit claims that the same student later raped her again” (Think Progress). Think Progress also stated in their coverage of the story that;
The school district has denied the girl’s allegations. Most disturbingly, its response letter claims the girl “failed and neglected to use reasonable means to protect herself.”
Any indication of a notion that leaving children to believe there is no one in a position of authority to protect them, and that they are the sole responsible person for their own safety, is a blatant statement of neglect and abuse in my opinion by that of the school district.
While both of these case have made headlines in some way, unlike this case, there is often little backlash in communities for the blame and shame of victims on a variety of levels. Therefore it appears we continue to have many hurdles to overcome in our misunderstanding of the needs of victims. Victims identification, rights and services, while improved, remain extremely underfunded, and awareness about the issues, despite an increase in reports compared to previous years, still need to become more and more mainstream. We must in no way place any level of blame on the victim… especially a victim whose abuse began when they were only a child. No child asks to be abused, wakes up and dreams of life working in the sex industry, or deserves any sexual assault, physical or mental abuse. Shame should never be used against a victim. We must remove words such as blame and shame from our mindsets or we can never truly seek to assist survivors of any abuse in a quest to lead thriving and sustainable lives. Let us seek to protect and defend our children and not to shame and blame them for our own failures to act.