A surly New York waiter seeks to promote his forthcoming book, “Waiter Rant,” by accusing the British of failing to leave proper tips in a blog run by the British daily, the Guardian. John Murray fingers a retired couple from Leeds in Yorkshire, whom he describes as “wonderful people” and “polite and well mannered.” He then berates them for leaving a “horrible tip” of $7 on a bill of $73.23, which the couple almost certainly viewed as extremely generous, given the difference between British and American tipping habits. Murray claims that even British waiters in the United States "cringe' when they hear English accents, which invariably presage “bad tips.” In a bid to sugar the pill, Murray adds:
“Trust me, I don't like being right about this. I love Great Britain. It's the home of the Magna Carta, William Shakespeare, Winston Churchill, James Bond, Page 3 Girls and [TV chef] Gordon Ramsay. Your “sceptred isle” heroically stood alone against the darkness of fascism, gave us the Beatles, and took Madonna off our hands. I love the UK and hope to visit that ancient and majestic country one day.”
He then concludes:
“But if I get another bad tip from a British person – I’ll nuke the country from space.”
An outpouring of comments on the blog run heavily against the waiter, and the American system that obliges waiters to rely on tips, not salaries, for a living. Murray has probably lost more British readers than he has gained for his book, due to be released August 7. It will be interesting to see how he promotes his opus if it is ever published in French.
